Updates for Thursday, February 16th [2006]

Huntin' Accidents


It has recently come to my attention that our fellow Vice President, an avid sportsman, has shot a fellow with buckshot, nearly killing the man & causing quite a ruckus. It is not my occasion to know why this happened, caused merely by neglect to the basic principles of hunting safety it seems, what is more important to me is the reaction by all.

Daniel: I bet he did it on purpose.

Natalie: Why on earth would Dick Cheney shoot a man, in broad daylight, on purpose?

James: I bet it has to do with corporate interest, the lawyer wouldn't chip in on helping Cheney hide some cash, and BLAM! Right to the face. Example made.

Me: You say that about everything, James.

Natalie: There is no way he shot the other hunter on purpose. If he did, why didn't the other hunter say something when he became conscious?

Daniel: The dude peppers you with buckshot, you gonna make him even more mad?

James: They tried to cover it up for 24 hours!

Natalie: This doesn't seem to fit the profile of a typical government cover-up. I think Cheney just didn't want his story of shooting someone by accident to interfere with Bush's agenda for the week.

Me: A Vice President should certainly show more caution, Cheney's actions are representative of his politics. I think we can agree on that point.

Daniel: Plus, he was drunk.

Natalie: He was drunk?

James: He even admitted that he downed some brewskies at lunch. He shot the man because he was drunk!

Me: I thought you just said that he shot the man because he intended to? Are you saying now, that it is an accident?

James: Yes, he brutally killed him in a drunken rage!

Natalie: The guy didn't die, he just had a mild heart attack. I think you two are making too much of this.

Daniel: Well, we got him on something, right?

James: We should impeach Cheney.

Daniel: Dude, totally.

Me: I think we're missing the big picture. Certainly, Cheney was not treated as a layperson would have been, but rarely is a politician treated as laypeople would be, or any celebrity for that matter. This issue is another of many that just serves as a distraction from discussion of better issues, again a flaw of the partisan nature of politics. Look today, and see a Democrat commit such an accident, and all the Republicans would be in a clamor - on the other hand, Democrats are the ones to clamor when Republicans err. It is a silly sport, to try to shoot politicians, when they are so apt to shoot at us.

James: Well, whatever. Try to downplay it if you want, but it just another conspiracy by the Bush administration, just like the War in Iraq, and 9/11, government spying and big oil corporate monopolies.

Accept the assurance of my friendly esteem & respect.

- TH. Jefferson

Editor's Notes:

Right now I am watching liberal satirists knock on Cheney for shooting someone in the face, and it's sort of funny, but not "ha ha" funny, but just sort of, "heh" funny. I'm not really amused by it, I'm actually almost bored by it, to be quite honest, although it's certainly funnier than anything else happening right now. When the President choked on a pretzel in 2002, and fell down and smacked his face real good, that was hilarious. Also good was the time when the President ran into a British bike officer while on a bike ride last July. All in all, the President's mishaps are funnier than the Vice President's, perhaps the VPOTUS is just a boring office by nature.

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