Dear Fellow Travelers,
Well, this week has been worrisome for me. It started this last Monday when I received a letter from my friend Ludwig, through enternet mail:
Indeed, it seems to be a very concerning situation. I will see him in one week's time and hopefully be able to comment on what the situation is.
Natalie is doing fine, her parents are coming in to visit, and she would appreciate it if I took some time to meet them. I heard they are very stringent religious folks, and I do so admire the company of religious discourse. Mr. Capitalism on the other hand, is not. James brought in a dog to the household which recently attacked my friend Mr. Capitalism, and he being a small turtle, was badly wounded in the attack. James remains unapologetic about the attack. "It's just a freakin' turtle, why don't you get rid of it? Set it free in the wild?", he has instructed me. I cannot do something so careless to a creature I care so much for. Unfailing to his nature, James took no responsibility for the dog's actions, and lets him round about the home. Nothing about the conditions laid out in the dog's tenure forbids him, but neither me nor Daniel ever gave him permission to bring the dog indoors, and as that should be enough, James seeks proof of how the dog is a disturbance, and accepts neither the dog's wastes, nor the dog's smell, nor the dog's noise, nor the dog's rampages throughout the home as evidence that it would better the household never to have brought it the indoors. James instead reiterates that since we did not tell him he couldn't, he did not need to seek permission, which is such a preposterous idea that I cared not to address it at the time, for my own mental safety and happiness.
In the meantime, I got away from the confusion of modern life, rather uneventfully. It was Daniel's uncle, Sir Abraham Francoln, who invited me and Daniel to his retreat, for several free lessons in the art of survival. The meeting would consume most of our last weekend. I am an experienced traveler, so I did not understand why I would not be allowed to bring the most basic supplies of oil, food and a rifle on our expedition.
So we arrived, at a rustic cabin near the edge of a wooded terrain, north of the city, in a state called Washington, named after his Excellency, a fine territory indeed worthy of that name. Abraham met us at the door, wearing a suit made of green poolings of color all over him, bellowing smoke from a cigar. We were handed similar uniforms.
We spent little actual time at the cabin, enough to dress ourselves up in the strange uniform green garb he supplied us. It made little sense to me, as I don't suspect that deep within a forest there will be any worthwhile danger to hide ourselves from. On our walk out into the forest, I asked him what he thought was the urgent need...
I wasn't quite understanding the sense of urgency, but sitting in the woods, with no food and no fire and no shelter, we had to figure some method to make life more tenable. Abraham was hard to speak to, with the billows of smoke from his lit cigar.
He did not seem to respond to my argument. Failing to actually start fires by hand, despite our most earnest efforts, we lit the wood with the same matches he used for his cigars. We decided next the important thing was to build shelter. We did not have a tent or even a tarp.
Why bother arguing further? I built my structure per his instructions, and laid within. If I were to ever to wonder what a coffin's interior feels like, deep amongst the soil in the graveyards of the dead, I wonder no more. The earth was moist and dirty, the roof was teetering and dripping. I got no measure of good sleep nor any measure of worthwhile rest. I awoke the next day hungry, so was the rest. We need to learn how to get food.
We threw the sticks, time after time, and failed to hit the cans. Surely if those cans were indeed rabbits, they would have scurried off into the brush by now. Abraham threw several times and missed by a matter of feet. I failed to see how this would bring dinner. In fact, I failed to see how Abraham's solutions would help us in the end times at all. With no supplies, we did seem doomed in the forest. Another day went by and we had no food. Emergency rations of some beef were brought, so we shared those instead. Indeed a weekend of camping with Mr. Francoln reminded me that we are neither in dire need of protection from the end times, but if the end times were to come, we'd be better off fighting for the most basic supplies in the city than struggling to survive in the woods, off of nothing. How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened? This weekend surely seemed like plenty of pain... for nothing.
I salute you with great respect.
- TH. Jefferson
It's funny how people like our character James can be so terribly irresponsible in their own households, and even though James Roosevelt IV is fictional, some of the people he represents are not, and they real people aren't in a small household like that of TeeJ and Daniel, instead they're in the household of big government. The only rampaging dogs we have are the rampaging government programs, and instead of damaging our sweet little turtle, these programs do more to hurt Capitalism and the American way of life than any single aspect of our society. Billions of dollars weigh in on this, and we let the dog run around the house.
A lot of this mentality is drawn on the idea that we don't have to justify to others why these programs exist, instead, we have to prove why they shouldn't. The dog shits on the carpet, it attacks your favorite pet, it runs all around the house causing chaos... but who are YOU to get rid of it? Well, fortunately for our allegory, you are an American citizen, with rights. And you pay for the dog food, the dog collar, you even pay for the dog shit on your couch. The Constitution was designed to close the door on bringing in dogs, cats, snakes, reptiles. You own the house. Start putting your foot down. Maybe TeeJ will someday too.
But let's turn to the focus of today's entry, Mr. Abraham Francoln. Yes, that's intentionally similar to Mr. Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln was, like our friend Mr. Francoln, an alarmist. He decided there was to be war and silenced anyone who said otherwise. After that decision was made, he tried to make it about freeing slaves, but that wasn't his real attitude. Just as Mr. Francoln doesn't mind living in the forest off of trees, Lincoln wouldn'tve minded living in the civil war off the back of hard working slaves. Calling Lincoln a great emancipator is equivalent of calling Mr. Francoln a great tree lover. Mr. Francoln would've cut down a tree, or the whole forest, if it meant survival. Lincoln would've enslaved all the black people in the United States if it meant winning the war. That neither took those extreme actions does not make them virtuous.
Lincoln's only true aim was survival of the union, but he didn't take the common sense route. He didn't bring supplies, he "roughed it". He took everyone in America, pitted brother against brother, all in the name of the union's survival. No one even attempted a peaceful resolution to that dispute. Why not? Because in Abraham's martial law, no one could dissent, if they did, they were thrown in jail. Lincoln, as an instructor, didn't listen much. In fact, he essentially just told people to simply shut up.
But more to the point, Mr. Francoln is simply full of Bullshit. I got many of the inspirations from the character based on a Libertarian-oriented Showtime original series called "Bullshit!", hosted by famous comedian/magicians Penn & Teller - particularly the "End of the World" episode of the first season. Be sure to check your listings, also makes for a worthwhile download.